Abolish Abortions now!

It's a rally cry all over the US. Abolish all abortions now! Pass laws against abortion. It's a moral imperative to keep other people from having abortions. There's just one little problem with it. Laws don't stop people from doing things, they just punish people afterwards.

Well actually there's 2 little problems with it (maybe more, i'll probably lose count). You can't stop wealthy people from having abortions. Yup that's right, you can't stop wealthy people from having an abortion. They'll just hop a flight and get it done. And anyone with the ability to pay will do the same, and anyone with a credit card can do the same too. So the only people you will stop are the young without resources and the poor. So why not categorize it properly. Let's pass a law to stop poor people from having abortions. Doesn't have quite the same ring, does it?

But we can prevent abortions. Huh? Yup, I said we can prevent abortions. How? By being responsible parents. Yup. Oh dear, I said it. I blame parents when their kids go wrong. Yup. Even if it's not directly the parents fault, parents should know what's going on in their kids lives and help out.

This is how parents can help out.

1. Do not allow their kids to date until they are 16. This involves knowing where your kid is at all times and making sure there's a responsible adult nearby to check on them. This will prevent kids from having the opportunity to be promiscuous and get emotionally scarred which contributes to unexpected pregnancies. There's huge pressure for kids at 1st grade to declare a boyfriend or girlfriend. Tell kids it's unrealistic and silly.

2. Teach your child responsibility. Kids need chores and an allowance to learn how the real world works. They need to feel useful or they'll have unmet emotional needs. When they waste their allowance, they need to know they have to do without. Parents need to teach kids how to save and plan for emergencies.

3. Explain to your sons about how they will have to pay for a baby should it come. Explain that this is one reason why you don't want them pressuring girls to have sex.

4. Stop allowing boys to pressure girls for sex. I know girls are doing more of the pressuring now, but boys are expected to be out for the hunt and on the prowl. They are expected to score and brag and put notches on their belt. Without explicit and repeated input from parents about how this is unaceptable (no wink and a nodd here) boys will fall into the mass media model that is being presented to them.

5. Prepare Girls for these types of boys. Prepare girls by helping them have good self esteem. Good self esteem is accomplished by making kids feel useful and self sufficient and also willing to ask for help

6. Dont allow your children to be selfish. This is very hard to accomplish but not impossible. Get some parenting books.

Now for all adults.

1. Ask your lover what s/he expects to do if a baby arrives. If you can't discuss this with your lover, you're not responsible enough to be having sex. If your lover gives you information that makes you nervous, then you need to ask yourself if you are in the right relationship.

2. Can you afford to pay for a baby if one should come along? If you cant, then why are you having sex? Sex makes babies. Yup, Sex makes babies. If you havent planned to take care of a baby as the result of having sex, then you aren't planning far enough ahead. Women who plan ahead for a baby contingency are more likely to be less stressed when it happens. Men who plan ahead for the baby contingency are more likely to honor their financial obligations.

3. Keep up with your family and keep up your networking. Support helps a person make good decisions.

For legislation:

1. Make boys & men pay for their babies. If girls know the male will be financially responsible for the child, they are less likely to have an abortion. If males know they will be held financially responsible they will be more likely to wear a condom.

2. Stop abuse. Girls in fear of abusive men will have abortion. Girls who are hooked up with crime figures are more likely to have an abortion. Teach kids in school about abusive and controlling relationships.

3. Stop poverty. Provide more work training, affordable college, affordable housing etc.. People with good resources don't live in fear that maybe they can't afford the baby and they have less stress. With less stress, they may opt for the adoption option. Adoption is a challenging avenue and people need to feel prepared for it.

I dont have all the answers and you shouldn't expect me to. Read, think, learn and prepare, it's what you can do. It's what we all can do.